My English teacher just doesn't feel the same way about my writing style that Julia does.
Beta dear, I love you.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007 5:01 PM
Beta dear, I love you.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007 7:15 PM
I've been doing badly in school. Incompletes and various other things.
Here's to disappearing.
<3
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Monday, January 29, 2007 3:25 PM
Oh, I love it.
I wasn't allowed to go to the pet store because "Chad had to have McDonalds." Chad doesn't need McDonalds. He's fucking fat enough as it is.
But, I whined enough, and I got to the pet store and bought some mice and crickets and mealworms. Yay.
I get home and Chad bitches at me because my grandma told him that I ate two of his French fries. Uhm, he had a large. I bet he didn't even notice they were gone.
And as soon as I finished feeding my snakes and Winston, Chad gets on me to move his fish and clean the tank. Yeah. His fish. Sorry. I take care of my million and one pets. Not his.
Oh, and then he says shit about how I save my pay check. I get paid like.. $100 every two weeks. Between my pets, lunch, helping mom out all the time, and all this extra scuba gear Chad insists that I get, I don't have a lot to put in the bank.
"I'm 25 and I don't save my money!"
"Yeah, I don't want to be like you."
So what if he wants to kill me? So what if it hates what I do? I'm my own person. Sort of.
Kevin and I hung out in the elevator today and made sex noises. We ran in place and messed each other's hair up before we went into class. As soon as we sat down I said, "Did you remember to zip your pants?"
Professor said, "If I had a dime for every time I heard that one..."
And all the kids behind us were like, "Oh, God. THAT'S what they've been doing?"
Because, it's not common sense to check elevators, apparently.
Aaaand, I love Kevin. He's a right doll.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Sunday, January 28, 2007 1:38 PM
Dear lord.
Mom and I were in the new house not even three hours when grandma calls screaming, demanding to know where we are. So, our first night which should have been filled with junk food and brownies was instead filled with crying.
Fucking bullshit.
Now we're back with my grandma. And I'm feeling so dead. I'll be very surprised if we ever get free of this and if someone ever stands up to the old woman.
I walked into the house and I immediately felt the atmosphere thicken and just smother me. I can't fucking breathe, anymore.
Living here.. I've been falling behind in my school work because nobody will shutup or leave me the hell alone for the few minutes that I need to write a paper. My grandma won't allow me in my room unless it's to sleep because she's convinced that I'll kill myself. And when I get anything lower than an 'A' I'm given a verbal lashing.
I'm tired of not being trusted and having to sneak around. I'm tired of being constantly watched and interrogated whenever I go into the bathroom or downstairs to the laundry room.
It's bullshit that I even have to put up with this. I've done nothing to deserve it.
My mom's forty. I wish she would act like it.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Saturday, January 27, 2007 7:32 PM
Well, it's official. I've moved.
And my only roomates are snakes.
Happy day.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Chad was in a mood the other day and he punched the wall. Apparently, I'm not allowed to talk.
There has been a lot of school and work going on.
I went to Bridgeport yesterday and I was questioned while walking down the hall. Awkwarddd.
Last night I hung out with Marc and the rest of Now or Never. I got in a lot of trouble because I didn't tell anyone that I was going with three boys. My grandma looked out the window when Marc picked me up and saw both Marcs and Justin messing around on the ice in my driveway.
We went to Bellaire and got food and waited on some more people. Then we went to the show in Flushing. After three bands we went back to St. Clairsville and got food at Steak and Shake. I don't think I've ever heard so much talk about testicles. And, I don't think I ever want to.
Apparently, I'm not a girl. At least I know they won't be raping me anytime soon.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Saturday, January 20, 2007 8:04 PM
Mom was in a car accident while I was at drivers ed. I love how nobody told me what was going on or where we were going until I started panicking and screaming at them. The car's totalled. Yeah, well. Looks like my bank account is going to be raided, too.
Johnny Cole's mom was my driving instructor today. He called her in tears because of some shit his girlfriend did. It was really hard not to yank her phone from her and talk to him myself. Then I thought, "Is that what I did with Shane?" and I really began to feel down on myself.
My sleeping pills are in mom's car. Tonight is not going to be cool. At all.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Thursday, January 18, 2007 10:52 AM
Weekly X-Files marathon on Thursdays almost makes being deathly ill worthwhile.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 6:46 PM
Strep!
Antibiotics, anyone?
Yeah, so much for my writing assessment meeting tomorrow.
Saw Zack and his girlfriend at the doctor's office.
At least I know who got me sick.
That's what I get for drinking after people at shows..
Haha, I wonder who else drank from that can of soda other than us..
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Strep throat?
Mono?
Kill me now.
SERIOUSLY.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Monday, January 15, 2007 9:24 AM
I just added a bunch more photos of the show to my Webshots. They were stolen from Randy. Duh.
A lot of shit goes down in Texas. Cordell Walker just used a jet pack to propell himself into a building.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Sunday, January 14, 2007 8:34 AM
Grandma's out of the hospital.
I took a break from homework yesterday to go to Marc's show. We hung out at his house beforehand and played with his little brother. His entire family is sososo sweet.
Uh, went to the show, "helped" set up, Dollar Store, tailgated in the rain. Marc and I hung signs and didn't realize until afterwards that it's impossible to see posterboard signs in the dark. Guh.
We went to McDonald's. Jared is meaan. Like.. seriously. lol.
During the show, Marc made sure he was pretty much next to me the entire time. He sort of followed me like a puppy.. which was cute.
Met up with Bethany, Randy, and Shannon. Hung out between them and Marc, but I pretty much did my own thing. And, that's new. Usually, I have to cling onto someone. Halfways, I just wanted to enjoy the show, get thrown into the pit, and come out feeling a better person.
When Marc was moshing and tackling other boys [who were three times his size] I couldn't help but feel like a mommy bird.
Uh, then we left. And Bethany and I had some pretty lovely conversations. Liiiike before.
After I was home and snuggled all in bed, Marc called. Surprising, but heart warming. He wanted to make sure I got home alright and to see if I had fun. He's a real sweetheart.
Pictures of yesterday up on Webshots.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Friday, January 12, 2007 1:09 PM
It's Friday. Today would be awesome if I didn't have so much homework. And, tomorrow night I'm going out so.. Yeah. Looks like Sunday will have to be the homework day.
Grandma's coming home today. I'm pissed about it. I like being home alone all the time. And I really like not being bothered with tons of questions.
I have driving today and tomorrow. Sucky. I just want to sleeeep.
The new high school is really shiny. I don't like how close together everything is. Spread out things are cool. And.. bottom lockers suck.
Stress = overeating. Omigosh, I'm so fat.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:10 AM
So, yeah. I have no clue what day it is.. only that it must be Monday or Wednesday because I just got out of Calculus.
Grandma's in the hospital. I enjoy being at home with mom and Chad. We get along a lot better and there's a LOT less stress.
The trek to Indiana wasn't that bad. Emmett is absolutely adorable. He sort of makes me want to have a baby, but then I remember how they poop and spit up and .. yeah. Babies are cool when they're not yours. We ate at some Mexican restaurant and Erik was really badly behaved. I was conned into watching the little kid. Eventually, the Mexicans took over the job, though. Best of all, there was no fighting. I sort of figured that we'd all be coming home in caskets. Heh.
I still have some more photos to upload, so whenever I actually have time to get on my own computer.. yeah.
I'm thinking of dropping Spanish. Yeah, I fought hard for it, but with Spanish I have 22 class hours. And, I just cannot do that. Not sure if I'll be allowed to drop it, but let's hope I don't have to kill myself just go get out of a foreign language course.
Chad and I fed Rosie the other day and almost died. Once she gets her size up there, she'll sure be a handful. Can you imagine? She's less than a foot now, but at the end of this year she'll be around five. Two years from now.. ten. And fifty pounds.
I have to work on buying her a bigger tank, though..
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Thursday, January 4, 2007 7:22 PM
Today:
-Waking up at six in the morning is NOT cool. I remember why I made sure I only had 8:30 classes last quarter. English 151 is pretty cool, though. I enjoy Dr. Diamond.
-Work for four hours really sucks, but having Wes there to walk in and out and in and out for that entire four hours.. Well, that really makes for some entertainment.
-Being afraid of eating in front of people is lame. Unfortunately, I really do like eating outside with the wind and the janitors.
-'Stats for Behavioral Sciences' is .. wow. I enjoy math. Hahaa.
-Omigosh, I'm SOSOSOSO tired.
We're leaving for Indiana tomorrow morning. I seriously just found out. Nobody's telling Jon and Jenelle, and I'm betting that there will be a huge fight and we'll end up not being able to see the kids.
So, I won't be online for the next few days. Not that I'm online much recently anyways, but .. yeah. Make sure you check my 'webshots' for pictures of the kids, family, the trip up/back, and me acting stupidly. I'm totally taking my laptop JUST to put photos online. ^^
Feel free to call. Really.
359-2974
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007 10:04 AM
Yeah, well, I could go on with some super depressing post, but I won't. Shane's angry with me and his girlfriend is a bitch, but I have a load of more important things to bother with. Like school starting today. And going to Indiana. And making sure that I'm happy.
Speaking of 'happy'... Mom said, "If you do that one more time, I'm taking you to the hospital." And, of course, we all know what she was talking about. But what we don't know is the actual severity of the situation.
I've managed to fuck things up royally this time around, and I'm going to have to finally make the decision that I've been dancing around for years. "Who is responsible for my happiness?" The obvious answer would be, "You are, Anessa!" but how obvious has that answer been in my past actions? I've let other people be respsonsible for me for far too long, and there needs to be a change.
Maybe it's the new year getting the best of me. Maybe it's just a silly teen's ideology. Whatever. I need to concentrate more on me and less on enabling others. There's a future to secure, animals to take care of, and homework to be done. Yeah, whatever.
So, in the end, I'm making a responsible and independent decision that will no doubt change my life for the better, and I'm accepting it. A few years, even a few months ago, the thought of this happening would have been absurd.
Because, in the end.. I'm all that I have.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Monday, January 1, 2007 9:12 PM
Bethannnny. I totally did not intend to do that. Seriously. Keep me in the loop, woman!
Uhm, went out with Marc today. Good times. Saw the new Rocky movie. .. lmao.
You. Are. Crazy.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
Draculas God (8:30:59 PM): who am I to you?
x reivers (8:31:59 PM): You're Josh. The boy I dated when I was a freshman. You give me all sorts of shit, but you stand up for me. You're the lovely blonde boy that I love to death.
x reivers (8:32:50 PM): You're .. the stupid boy that makes me cry, but still gives kickass hugs. And, who didn't forget to say goodbye to me on your last day of school.
Draculas God (8:33:39 PM): I love you too nesa
Draculas God (8:33:52 PM): you know that right
x reivers (8:34:21 PM): Haha. Yeah right.
Draculas God (8:34:32 PM): Thats what I love about you
...
Draculas God (8:45:55 PM): you always look great
Draculas God (8:48:58 PM): goodnight beautiful
Gag me with a fucking spoon.
I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.
credits
skin / heroineresources / x x x
click codes / facelikemurder