the radio told me to stay
Friday, March 30, 2007 7:02 PM

I've been home alone literally all day, and I've nothing to show for it but a half eaten birthday cake and ringing eardrums. Everything seems to be so detatched today. I'm rather calm and I appreciate it, but outside of myself, there is so much chaos.

TwistedEnigma89 (6:51:59 PM): i had a bad night last night
TwistedEnigma89 (6:52:05 PM): ugh
x reivers (6:52:07 PM): oh?
x reivers (6:52:11 PM): tell me about it
TwistedEnigma89 (6:52:12 PM): yeah...
TwistedEnigma89 (6:52:13 PM): well
TwistedEnigma89 (6:52:28 PM): i didnt sleep until 7 or so
TwistedEnigma89 (6:52:40 PM): but other than that
TwistedEnigma89 (6:53:00 PM): ive come to realize this situation with jess, whats bothering me isnt just that i cant be with her
TwistedEnigma89 (6:53:19 PM): it also bothers me that shes being walked on and treated like nothing
TwistedEnigma89 (6:53:57 PM): and i started writing her an email
TwistedEnigma89 (6:54:05 PM): and i started crying in the middle of it
TwistedEnigma89 (6:54:26 PM): so i txted my friend marissa cuz i was feeling like i was going to do something stupid... and believe me i almost did
TwistedEnigma89 (6:54:47 PM): well i DID do something stupid, i almost did something REALLY stupid

TwistedEnigma89 (6:58:33 PM): im just saying that its not easy to get over someone youve been in love with for this long
TwistedEnigma89 (6:59:00 PM): your acting like you think u know what she means to me
TwistedEnigma89 (6:59:14 PM): like you know i can just say forget it im done
TwistedEnigma89 (6:59:18 PM): and itll all be over
x reivers (6:59:54 PM): What I'm saying is that instead of sitting there whining and crying like a little kid, you should try maybe just accepting that she's moved on and perhaps just get good grades in school.
x reivers (6:59:57 PM): FUCK WHAT SHE MEANS TO YOU.
TwistedEnigma89 (7:00:21 PM): you just proved you know nothing about this situation


So, here's the deal. Sam is this kid that I had a little fling with, yeah? And, he decided that he'd like to be with his girlfriend rather than be with me. That's all well and good.. Then, he told her about me, she broke up with him, and he's whining to me about how awful things are.
Excuse me for not being as sensitive as possible, but I believe that I have a right not to be. Sam has been a total ass since whatever he and I did. If he's awkward around me, he should just not come around me instead of coming around where he's obviously not wanted.

Boys are a waste of time. Except Marc. And Mylan.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Thursday, March 29, 2007 9:19 PM

Going to prom with Marc.

Grandma is in the hospital.

Syd is coming to visit me this weekend. I love puppies.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 10:54 PM

Went out with Marc tonight. Good times.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Sunday, March 25, 2007 9:40 PM

My family is the absolute worst. On Friday, my grandma decided that our house smelled awful and stayed up entirely too long cleaning. I ended up sleeping all day in order to avoid her.. Jenelle showed up with the boys and there was tons of crying and all sorts of stuff. Overall, it was really awful.

Jenelle left yesterday morning. It was a joyous occasion. Then, mom and I went to Powhattan. On the way there, we found out that the back drivers' side door doesn't shut, so we drove all the way to Rich's house with the door bungee corded shut. On the way home today, the car randomly shut off on Rt. 7. We called Rich to come help us and it turned out that the fuel line had come off. We got Dairy Queen afterwards..

Today, Chad and I went shopping. I tried on a pair of pants.. Turns out I'm not a size 28, anymore. Tons of huge sunglasses. Chad said every pair looked good, but I didn't believe him.

Today is the last day of spring break. Ready? No, I am not.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Friday, March 23, 2007 1:07 PM

Oh, where do I begin?

It's a waste of good blood? You're a waste of good space.

Sitting in my room listening to Death Cab and trying not to think about how unhappy I am with everything. It struck me the other day that things are going so well, but I want them to go so much better. It's probably just that I'm on spring break and I've nothing to do and all day to think. Once I get back into school and work, I'll be so busy and pain ridden that I won't have time to notice the slight annoyances in life.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Thursday, March 22, 2007 11:23 AM

Yesterday: Josh's for Live Freaky! Die Freaky! then James' for an apology.

James was convinced that I had only come to cuddle and be a whore. Unfortunately, I only wanted to apologize for being so awful. He wanted to cuddle.. and I didn't let him.

I keep sleeping until like.. noon. It's not good at all. Especially with spring quarter starting next week and Calc at 8am.

Chad got a car. It's some sort of pickup truck. Blah.

I think I'm gonna go make some brownies.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007 1:00 AM

Zoe and I just found out that we're going to the same Anti-Flag show in April. Excitement.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Sunday, March 18, 2007 6:33 PM

Steak N' Shake milkshakes are the best ever. So is McDonald's. Especially when you're on a diet. Mmyeah.

Went to Rich's this weekend. Ate a lot of food and played with the puppy. Last night, the puppy decided to sleep on my neck. Awkward.

Cody decided to have a bunch of his friends over last night. I dislike having to share a bathroom and a hallway with him. They ate all the food and kept me up all night.

lolol, I love BBC America's Robin Hood.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Friday, March 16, 2007 1:25 PM

I'm sickkkk. Ew. Grandma is convinced that it's mono. Lame.

Wednesday was my last final. I'm not too confident.

Yesterday I went with mom to Columbus with mom to shop for stuff for the store. It would have been cool if I wasn't feeling so sick. Chocolate milkshake and ABC soup. Rock.

Now I'm sitting with Indigo and Calamari. They're being frisky. Indigo keeps trying to run away. Silly thing.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 6:58 PM

Today, I had my first diet Coke.

/vomit.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Sunday, March 11, 2007 8:49 PM
What have they done to you? You're withering away.

Thursday: Made out with Sam. Was told by Sam that I am worthless. Confirmed plans with Josh.

Friday: Spanish class. Subway. Kicked Zack out of his room so Josh and I could have some 'alone' time. Cleaned my room.

Saturday: POPEYE'S CHICKEN. Reptile show. Frozen mice and weanling rats. Bearded dragon pair. Pit bull puppy. Chocolate milk restaurant. Pet store. Bed.

Sunday, Today: Puppy time. Pet store. Wal-Mart. Blah.

Haha, who has had enough of boys? I most definitely have.

Chad wants a new computer, so he's breaking his on purpose. It's really too bad that I know exactly how to fix it.

Josh kind of makes me want to throw up. We watched the Price is Right and part of that shitty Robots movie. I asked for Zack's room and we got it for a REALLY SUPER LONG half hour. We both ended up less than fully dressed. And, that's all I'm saying.

It's easy to forget yourself when you've never really remembered yourself to begin with. My favorite thing in the world is to hurt myself. That way, I'm in enough constant pain that most of the time I'm numb.

Like, with Josh. I went over there in the hopes of rekindling some sort of feeling between us, so I could find some reason to be unhappy. And, I really think I found it in the way he decided to put his arms around me. I don't think I'll be that disgusted with myself for a while. At least until next week.

I love how he lies, though.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Thursday, March 8, 2007 5:58 PM

Yeah, Sam.
Yeah, Josh.

Shuddup. I'm allowed.

I ate Subway today. And made out in an elevator.

We're goddamn cute, but I'm not sure.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Monday, March 5, 2007 7:27 PM
Seks.

Yes, I plan on surviving the naked rapist.

Josh?
Haha, if only I was able to take him seriously.

English papers = the worst



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

Sunday, March 4, 2007 11:56 AM

School school SCHOOL. Luckily, this is the last week of winter quarter.

Went to a show with Marc last night. I hung out by myself. It wasn't fun.

Then, Marc, Andy, and I came back home and I showed them my snakes.

Uhhm.

I can't wait until after finals week.



I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to.

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Anessa

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